Do You Email When Drunk?

Do you like to stay up late at night and crank out emails?  Perhaps you like to “tip a few” while you compose those messages.  Maybe when you wake up the next morning, you rummage through your “sent” box to see what you did.  Maybe you wrote something lurid to the wife of your office manager. Maybe you even gave away valuable secrets, like access to your MySQL database. Perhaps you wrote something embarrassing to an ex-spouse.  Did you send some death threats to your least favorite politician?  Maybe that email you can’t remember sending will someday be called “Exhibit A” by the District Attorney.  You might even get a visit from the Secret Service.

Don’t despair.  Help is on the way.  No, the Nanny State won’t step in to save you from yourself!  Your savior will be a ubiquitous and even more all-knowing entity than the government!  It’s the same outfit that might know more about you than the NSA ever will!   I’ll give you a big hint… it’s the same people who NEVER delete your gmail even though YOU think you did.  If you guessed Google, congratulations!

Mail Goggles

OK, so maybe your email problems aren’t that dramatic. Maybe you just use too many four-letter words when you drink at your computer desk.  Google has a solution for gmail users just like you.  It’s called “Mail Goggles” and by default it operates on weekends between 10pm and 4am, which is the time when most drunken emails are generated.  (You have the option of changing the times.) To pass the Google drunk test, you have to answer a series of five math questions within sixty seconds.  The idea is that you are drunk enough to send a profane letter to your boss, you probably aren’t sober enough to know the answer to 35 minus 17.

Of course, there are always drawbacks to any innovation. Perhaps you are math-challenged. It also doesn’t solve my own particular email problem. I am more likely to get into trouble emailing when I am sober but angry. It is just too easy to pound out a hasty message, and then realize later that it might have too many sharp edges on it.

Drunken Email Writing Service

However, if you want to write drunken emails, but just aren’t very creative about it, there is help for you as well. Check out the Drunken Email Generator.  (Warning… the language might be colorful.  Drunk people will say the darndest things!)

Tomorrow, you may want to check out the Apology Generator.

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